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No to stray too far off-topic here but "you're right" jay. Readables can be longer as long as they are "compelling".

 

"Compelling" is a subjective concept but you can generally say that if the readables describe more actions, or juicy

situations.

 

There is this convention of having the readables be made-up of "banalities of the upper cruft" sprinkled

with clues about the locations of items. While it lends some realism, it doesn't always draw you into the story

because you don't care about the banalities (due to their very nature) and you can easily spot that

they are a ploy for exposition. (It's a bit cliche really.)

 

If the readable has undertones of fear, lust, treachery etc... could still relay that strata of information but

they should (ideally) be light on long forays into the "mundane daily business" of the NPC's.

 

IMHO Good example:

 

I don't have much time. The Builders have been sending patrols to the docks to watch over

transports from the smaller towns. My friend, Salvory, is going to leave a package in the

western room near the red curtains. I hope he makes it. The last time he traversed the woods

at night a rough group of pagans chased him for a few haggard miles. If the Builders find this

note I'll be in much worse shape than Salvory boiling in the pagans' cauldron. If only I could figure-out

the last sequence in the Hallow Tome. I know that the key to finding the Crux of Amir is hidden in those

lines... "To all who ring the bells, the tones that chime will echo... back to the the hills where the Wise ones

slumber and the clasping hands of the maker... the clasping hands... clasping hands..."

Is it a book? A tomb? A locket? Without the map it'll be impossible to tell. All I can say is that it must

be in that cave by Mourntoune Mountain. There's too many clues leading there.

 

 

IMHO Bad Example:

 

Lady Lockley paid a visit today. I sent her a sealed notary about our plans to transfer property

in exchange for some assistance with my project to extend the stables. We'll need 20 laborers

in the yard for a couple of weeks. I have no doubt that the stables will be better than ever when

the ordeal is over, I just don't like having that many hands about the manor. The last time I started

a project of this size (when Lady Lockley's cousin Durand was still in town) two of my servants

took the opportunity to pilfer my wine cellar! I've taken extra precautions now. I've hidden

my best stock in a secondary part of the cellar where only the keys I keep in my bed-side

stand can gain access. Two stationed guards will keep an eye on my room at all times during this

project and I expect no disturbances whatsoever. Lady Lockly was planning on coming over on

regular stops to entertain in the Parlour so we'll need to stock-up on fine wines and hors d'oeuvres

as well as some new novelties from Johan (our friend from the Inventor's Guild). The house will need

to be extra clean so we will have the maids working well into the late evening most nights.

Angela, our head maid, has been complaining of strange creakings in the night and has requested

that Doralene take over her stead for awhile. I told her "Not until the project is done!" very firmly. You must

let the help know their place once in a while, you know...

 

(Add a few thousand more lines about all the servant duties and household operations here...)

Edited by nbohr1more
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Well I'm writing the promised wiki tutorial already on this, well outlining it anyway, and I'm thinking about the readables issue for it too. My take is also that it isn't the length per se. What I think makes the player get into readables or get turned off is whether the information they're getting is "active" to the events and plot-progression swirling around them, or is "dead" to those events or plot-progression. While an active clue that helps you advance in the FM definitely counts as active, it's not limited to that. I think revealing information that lets the player feel connected to the plot going on around them also counts, especially if it's new information that actually progresses the plot forward (moving forward in the "narrative space" of the plot), and that feeling of making progress into the story and the revelation is what makes for a really compelling readable. Using active verbs and focusing on important actions and events of NPCs in the plot is all related to that.

 

An analogy is to gameplay space. Space can be "alive" gameplay-wise with light and shadows you have to navigate, or "dead" where you have this huge room that's entirely shadow so there's nothing to navigate. Good space design is building efficiently to make all the space live to the gameplay, just as good readable writing is making the new information live to the plot-progression. But readables that are like just lists and details, or like a Builder prayer book, but don't advance anything in the plot are the equivalent of big rooms that are beautiful but no role in the gameplay. They only exist as something entertaining or beautiful to read or help fill out the setting, etc, but for that you just want to give them that taste, but not draw them too deeply into it since after that taste there's nothing really drawing them farther in. It's like a beautiful bedroom just for beauty's sake can be great, but an entire mansion-wing just there for beauty can't sustain that. Similar thing for readables. Beautiful or entertaining information is great for a page; but not much more. For more than that you need to be progressing the plot with it. Well that's my basic take for the tutorial I'm going with.

 

Edit: But I agree with nbohr too, some of it too is just using good and interesting and concrete writing to keep them interested in the details they're reading, and staying away from bland writing.

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