Sexual Identity And MMOs

[Ombrenuit]

First of all, this issue coming up made me laugh. I honestly couldn't believe it--I was playing World of Warcraft, their seventeen year old son, and my dad says, "Why the hell are you playing a female character?" Anyone comfortable with mmorpgs might know this is fairly common place--unless of course, I'm just crazy. We all know that 90% of female characters are guys (gay guys at that, right?), but why? For me, it just became the norm. I had seen it so often before, I already had a male level 60, and I was going to make a priest, yes a priest. For some reason when I think of priests, especially on WoW, I just can't see one as a male (waltzing around in a white robe). My argument? I simply like females--yes, they are attractive, and yes, it did interest me. No, I'm completely strait, and no, it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable whom I play with. It didn't seem that big of a deal. My parents thought otherwise. Tonight we had a discussion as soon as I got home from work.

 

Nothing is better than finally coming home and then your dad telling you "We need to talk. We think you are having sexual identity issues." Really, it tops my day to find out that my parents suspect I'm gay and that I'm cross dressing when they aren't looking. "We tend to put suppressed feelings into our fantasies." This is all regardless of the fact that I've roleplayed guys in the past. What was even more painful was having to explain the game to my parents: "No...the gender I could care less about. Male priests look gay, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to play a freaking game, there isn't even roleplaying involved. No, I won't start a new character because I don't want to put in another 120 hours into a new one, and because this is completely trivial. Obviously it doesn't mean a thing to me." I guess I'll avoid playing assassins, sorceresses, and amazons on Diablo II now.

[demagogue]

Haha

 

Virtual reality and alter egos are things of our generation (or at least of MMO players) that just seem unbridgable over the gap with our parents or those otherwise out of the loop -- there's just nothing from their world that can serve as any kind of analogy. It seems perfectly natural to me as well, because the whole idea of all gaming is that you are adopting a persona, a player character, as an avatar, and taking on a very foreign persona is just part of that.

 

I haven't lived with my parents in a long time, but even if I did, they are so far out of the loop by now that there'd be no point in even trying to catch them up to speed.

[Komag]

I have played female characters by choice in various games once in a while, sometimes not by choice (such as Tomb Raider and others), and it's fine by me. I'm very straight and a pretty religious Christian, so I can definitely say there is NOTHING essentially gender-bending about playing a female character. If you ONLY insisted on always playing as girls, that would be another issue, but that's clearly not the case here.

 

Ask your parents to try to believe you and to do some research online about it, or even to read this thread!

 

Good luck with that, I remember having sometimes overprotective or non-understanding parents at times (though it was mostly okay with mine)

[sparhawk]

When I played Guildwars I had one male and two female character. Well, I simply rather watch some nice female character while playing, then a male one. Since there is no difference from the characters side, it doesn't really matter and if I have the choice to see a sparsly clothed male or a sparesly clothed female, I think I take the latter.

[OrbWeaver]

I would just say something like "I appreciate your concern, but I am not having any sexual identity issues and if I ever do I will be sure to seek the help of a qualified therapist".

 

At the end of the day it's none of their business, and unless they are themselves qualified psychologists (which it doesn't sound like they are) it's not for them to be trying to "treat" a "problem" which doesn't even exist in the first place.

[oDDity]

Even though you are not 'playing a female charcater', all you are doing is using one set of graphcis over another, I've never had the urge to do it, any more than a I've ever had the urge to prance around in front of a mirror waering a dress and stiletto shoes.

IF you actually pretend to other players that you are a woman in real life, rathe than a guy playign a female avatar, then you have a problem.

[OrbWeaver]

I don't understand why people make such a big deal about "gender" anyway, it's just some relatively minor anatomical differences and a different chromosome (X over Y). Nobody complains if you play a character who isn't like you in other ways, like the same race or nationality, so why does their notional sex matter?

[Ishtvan]

Also to paraphrase the great Dan Savage, crossdressing isn't usually indicative of being gay. The guys who might very well be gay are generally not those who try on lingerie and heels, but rather the guys obsessed with jock straps and tighty whities.

[Domarius]

If your parents read this and it helps, then I'm putting my 2c in even though I said I wouldn't post in the off-topic forums;

 

1. Playing a female character is no different than playing an orc character or a horse character, or a skeleton character - it's just variety.

 

2. The main reason I choose a female character in a game is to look at her. Like Spar, given the choice of what I'm going to be looking at on screen, I like to choose the attractive female. Let's face it. Pretty much every single playable female video game character is designed to look attractive.

[Spitter]

I'd say that playing a beefy male barbarian wearing only a loincloth would be a much more likely candidate for manifestation of repressed homosexualism than playing a female one (which I find a perfectly STRAIGHT thing to do anyway).

[oDDity]

THat theory only works for third person games.

I think if you did the research you won't find more men playing females in third person MMOsas opposed to first perosn MMOs, where they can't see themselves.

No, it' nothing to do with that, it's the image you want to project to other players that's at the heart of it. You want to dress up as a fantasy tart in skimpy armour, and parade around in front of other male players, becasue it turns you on.

None of you will admit that of course. No one ever amdits to being a drooling pervert.

[OrbWeaver]

None of you will admit that of course. No one ever amdits to being a drooling pervert.

 

That's because it's not possible by definition. Nobody ever describes themselves as a "foreigner" either.

[Domarius]

No one ever amdits to being a drooling pervert.

I thought I just did

Of course I was talking about 3rd person games. As for first person, well my first point still applies to that.

 

I know you're just shit stirring though

 

Anyway, I'm outta here.

[Vadrosaul]

Here's a recent article about said subject: http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/28072006/6/n-te...nning-edge.html

[Schatten]

Well, I don't play MMOs, but I often play female characters in P&P RPGs. I like hitchhiking minds of different charcters, a priest, a carpenter, a cyborg, an alien, a woman... don't see a big problem there. Plus you can throw stereotype women-behaviour back at female players.

 

The Escapist has an amusing article about a guy posing as a woman playing a male character.

[Ishtvan]

Jeff Green, editor-in-chief of Computer Gaming World, who for six months played Sony Online Entertainment's "EverQuest" as a female character while researching a story.

 

[Ombrenuit]

Thank you everyone. First thing in the morning I handed my laptop over to my mom and told her to read through your replies. I think it really assuaged her doubts along with printed reactions from AIM conversations with my friends. My dad also apologized to me. He said that he had been tired and wasn't being very open minded towards my defense, which he said I handled myself pretty well with. He said that it was his job as a parent to overreact sometimes. The cost of underreacting can be devistating if lurking problems are left ignored.

[Domarius]

That's true. Well they are certainly being reasonable and that's all that matters in the end.

[Komag]

Sounds like you got a couple good parents there, that are listening and willing to learn, apologize, etc. Wow.

[Ymochel]

This story is perhaps the funniest thing I've heard in a while... Well, at least it means that your parents care about what you're doing with your computer. Considering the state of affairs in some places parents couldn't care less how their kids are spending their time. But enough with the social commentary.

 

On the other hand I certainly would've freaked had my parents ever taken to interpreting my choices of computer game characters. "Why are you playing a Thief? We need to talk about these criminal tendencies!"

 

Oh and I must concur with what's been said that playing female characters in RPG is a very straight thing to do. Anyone here remember U7: Serpent Isle?

[Macsen]

Er, I actually thought you were a girl Ombrenuit... did they object to your avatar on this forum too?

 

Personally I'd say playing as a girl is besides the point, it's playing WoW for 120 hours that you should be worrying about. Seek counseling, pronto.

[Ombrenuit]

Er, I actually thought you were a girl Ombrenuit... did they object to your avatar on this forum too?

 

Personally I'd say playing as a girl is besides the point, it's playing WoW for 120 hours that you should be worrying about. Seek counseling, pronto.

 

The avatar probably would have been beating a dead horse by the time I had characterized their argument as ridiculous. As for WoW, surely I'd like to be doing more productive things, but fretting over it all is just doing no good in the least. I'm just waiting for college to start and enjoying life until then.

Edited August 5, 2006 by Ombrenuit

[Macsen]

I'm just waiting for college to start and enjoying life until then.

College is all about fun and laying in bed with a hangover, so you'd be better off trying to do something productive before you go.

[OrbWeaver]

College is all about fun and laying in bed with a hangover, so you'd be better off trying to do something productive before you go.

 

Unless of course you are one of the minority of people who doesn't find that lacing one's brain with toxins gives meaning to ilfe, in which case college is about being surrounded by mindless shrieking conformists while being told what a "great time" you are supposed to be having.

[Domarius]

Actually it's about being surrounded by gorgeous girls everywhere you look.

 

Memorise those lines instead of those weapon stats.