Macsen

Thank you both. Any help, suggestions, and so forth are greatly appreciated. The plot is of course in its most basic stage at the moment, and all dialogue is designed for the benifit of those reading it without cinematics, to make it appear more interesting and add atmosphere.

Thae automatons are the steampunk devices that turn up in level 2, 3 and 6. But you're right, they don't play a hugely important part in the plot itself. The dialogue is just rough stuff I drew up in the last half hour. It will be improved upon. The 'Emperor' just needs to be the leader of the Builders in the City. I just chose Emperor because I'm working on the Hammerite Imperium project too and have the idea that the Builders have an emperor fixed in my head. He could be a Priest, Baron, whatever.

A Very Basic, Simple Version of the Plot (V 1.0) I have no idea what the Thief is called, so far now I’ll just call him ‘Thief’. I’d thought of ‘Picasso’ (he’s an artist, see?), but maybe that’s too exotic. I’ve tried my best not to let the plot get ‘epic’ towards the end. In fact, the whole crux of the ending is that the character does not want to get involved. He is not a Garrett, out to save the world. He is just out to save himself and… well, I don’t want to spoil it. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Level 1: Escape From Low-knot Prison Background: “Six years of war had made a general of me, but once I heard my City had been taken over by the enemy I knew I’d have to go home by the quickest route. So I allowed myself to get caught; nothing hurt but my pride, and much better than going back home on the back of a cart to be buried in some anonymous grave with the rest of the taffers. Now I’m here in the City again, a prisoner of war, and all I have to do is escape to see my wife and daughter again.” Information: The title says it all. You simply have to escape the Prisoner of War building. This level takes place in the old part of the City, the medieval part. Enemies are normal prison guards. Level 2: No Honour Among Thieves Background: The Thief finds that his wife and seven year old daughter have died in his absence. “They were both dead; killed by who, I didn’t know, and it didn’t seem to matter at the time. The City was responsible. I lay around in its dingy bars for a while, no one knowing or caring that an enemy was in their midst. The war seemed to be taking place in another world, beyond the tight stone shell of the City. After a while I decided that it was time to get my old job back.” “The Thieves Guild was still there, but after six years I wasn’t known and they certainly wouldn’t welcome me back with open arms. You couldn’t kill your way to the top of the Thieves Guild; well, you could. But then you wouldn’t have a guild to control. And after six years of war, I’d seen enough of death for one lifetime.” “I had to work my way to the top, with old fashioned thieving. The head man was a rich alchemist called Tybalt with strong ties to the Guild of Mages. He lived on the wealthy side of the city, out of the shadow of the Builder’s Palace. If you can’t kill your way to the top, apparently you can just buy it.” Inside Tybalt’s Office in the Thieve’s Guild Tybalt: Any thieving experience? This isn’t just a case of hacking and slashing like in that war. Talent is thin on the ground these days, and rationing make the rewards meagre. I of course, have other means of getting what I want. Tybalt places a gemstone with a lions head on it into his desk. Tybalt: This is a rare gemstone of great worth. It shall stay in this desk. If you can hand it to me at five o’ clock tomorrow morning when I awake, the job is yours. Information: The test is to sneak into the Thieves guild and steal the gemstone. The Thieves Guild is also in the medieval section of the City, but there may be some steampunk devices and victorian architecture in the upper floors around Tybalt’s office. This is up to the level designer. Level 3: Brotherhood of the Renaissance Background: You return the gemstone to Tybalt. Tybalt: “I’m very impressed, not only because you stole the gemstone but because you brought it back. It shows loyalty.” You: “It’s a fake.” Tybalt: “Of course it is. You can tell by the triplets. You’re a clever man.” Voice Over: “He didn’t know the gem used to belong to me when I played the same game with new recruits. Calling me clever could have meant two things: a career, or a rusty knife through the mattress of my bed one night. But he gave me a job, regardless of any dangerous intelligence.” Tybalt: “The Builder’s who 'conquered' us have set up residence in the Old part of the City. Those religious fanatics are powerful, and they don’t like us ‘heathen’ mages with our pagan magic and colourful alchemy. I fear a war in the City one day, when there’s naught abroad to distract them. We must ally ourselves with the enemy, supply them with our technology, worship their god, and kiss the Emperor’s feet.” Tybalt: “There is a cult calling themselves the Brotherhood of the Renaissance that meet monthly in one of the richer districts of the City. I can’t have them killed because they’re all nobles, politicians, people like me with more money than brains who like to meet up under a full moon, dabble in witchcraft and necromancy; the exact kind of thing the Builder loves to smite. It is essential that these kinds of activities be put a stop to if we are to survive the Builders occupation.” Information: The first part of this level resembles the classic ‘Thieves Highway’ of Thief 2, as you make your way cross the City to the mansion where the meeting will take place. The second part takes place in the mansion itself. You overhear a meeting in which the members of the secret guild discuss a planned resurrection. They mention a ‘Renaissance Cauldron’. The leader of the cult departs, and you are told to follow him. But when you leave the mansion he is gone. A young girl who tells you to follow her after the men approaches you. The architecture of the mission is wealthy Victorian, set in the advanced half of the City, with the most advanced steampunk technology guarding the nobles houses. Level 4: Nocturne of the Dead Background: “I followed the little girl through the busy streets, the crowd parting before her like a sea of black. I struggled to catch up. As we reached the borders of the city we saw the two men leave by the East Gate. I have a feeling they’re not going for an afternoon stroll.” Information: This is the scary dead mission. It begins on the outskirts of the City from where you have to follow the two men out towards an old, evil castle. Your objective is to steal the Book of Going Forth which the necromancers are suing in their resurrection rituals. However, before you can steal the book you see a ritual taking place. The necromancers place a body into the Renaissance Cauldron, which rises out reborn. The resurrected man is The Baron, a horrible, scary, skeletal man. After the ritual you steal the book and leave. Architecture is a kind of very evil gothic. The level designer should have fun with this one. Level 5: Classical Tyrannicide (working title ) Background: You return to Tybalt’s house with the Book of Going Forth. You step into the living room and see that he is... drinking wine with the Baron and his female aide. Tybalt: “Ah, I see you’ve already met the gracious Baron Marw.” You: “But…” Tybalt: “Don’t. I must apologise for the actions of my thief, but do not blame him. He was acting strictly under my orders. I believe you have something that belongs to this gentleman?” You hand over the Book of Going Forth. The Baron’s aide extends a bony hand and takes it. Tybalt: “The situation has changed, Thief. We must adapt. The Baron has come to me with quite a tempting proposition, one that would solve many of our problems.” Baron: “Yes.” Tybalt: “You know of this Renaissance Couldron, Thief? And you have witnessed its power? The Baron’s plan is genius, and would ensure the alliance between us and the Builder’s children for many years to come. Perhaps you would like to tell him the rest?” The Baron smiles his skeleton grin. He holds up a ball. In it we see the Emperor of the Builders upon his throne. He is pierced by an arrow. Builder: “The Emperor is struck down! He is dead.” We see the Baron carry the dead body of the Emperor towards the Renaissance Cauldron, and place him in. The Emperor awakens, grasping the side of the cauldron. Builder: “He lives! The magic of the Builder inspired these mage’s work.” Baron: “He owes us his life!” Information: This level involves sneaking into the Builders palace and killing the Emperor. The way the player chooses to do this would depend on his playing style. Those who prefer ghosting can poison his food, etc, and leave the level without technically having killed anyone. The less bothered could just put an arrow in him. The architecture should be the most magnificent Gothic imaginable, with huge cathedrals, stain glass, ecetra. The palace is in the old section of the City. Level 6: Background: You walk down near the sea. There are celebrations in the distance. You hear a sound behind you. It is the little girl. Girl: “You shouldn’t have helped them. You have to stop them.” You: “It isn’t my place to stop them. I was just a pawn in their game, and now I am leaving the chessboard.” Girl: “You shouldn’t kill people, father. It hurts. I know.” She reaches out her hand, and it passes through yours. She is your daughter’s ghost. You: “Who did this to you?” Girl: “The Thieves Guild took care of us after you left, but then Tybalt took over and sold us to ‘them’. They want to use the Cauldron to win the war, to bring their soldiers back to life.” You: “The war is no concern of mine.” You look down at the ghost. You: “But, my daughter, you are. I could… bring you back.” Information: Your mission is the final level is to break into the Mage’s Tower, steal your daughters body, bring her back to life in the Cauldron and then escape without either of you dying. You will also need to steal the Book of Life to do this. The level is a mix of steampunk and gothic elements. Outro: Tybalt’s living room. Tybalt: “You are to be made the leader of the Thieves Guild in my absence. Now that I am a Baron, we will of course be enemies. But I won’t come down that hard on you, my old friend. You know, I’m sure your daughter looks familiar.” You: “You might have met her mother.” Tybalt: “Yes, probably. You meet a lot of people in my line of work. Almost never in social situations, though. (Sighs) Happy thieving.” LE FIN ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Any elements you like, or dislike, say so.

I'm almost finished with the first draft. I'm tring to think of a good conclusion, which is usually the weakest part of a Thief plot. 'And he lived happily ever after...' doesn't cut it somehow.

NH has given me the summary. The wording here is a little unclear. Does this mean the story should only be about the main character's life, paying the rent, joining a guild, removing an obstacle to business, a competitor, ecetra, without any suggestion of a larger plot involving other forces, or that the focus should simply be on the more mundane aspects of Thievery while a grander plot involving outer forces can be revealed as the BIG picture comes into focus? It would seem rather strange for a Thief game to eschew these things completely, since they are a well loved ingredient in all the Thief games and most great fan missions.

Doom 3: Hell on Earth seems very similar to the expansion pack 'Ressurection of Evil' being created by Id or one of its affiliates, so maybe that was part of their decision to shut down production.

I hath returned! My feet no longer shackled by the chains of work. :lol: Classic Thief style cut-scenes would be best. I wouldn't turn my nose up at those sepia/black & white intro movies with voice over either. *nostalgia* How is the list of rules and limitations for the plot coming along?

Will these intros be done in 'classic Thief style', or using the ingame engine? Have you decided upon the limits you wish to impose upon the storyline? I'll be done with work for the week at three o' clock (GMT), so I can concentrate on this.

Yes, every country has blood on its hands. Even Wales. Oh, the terrible Llanbwgr Mine Massacre of 1625 haunts us still...

Fantastic. The minimum amount I would need to tell the story is 5, and I prefer it that way without any 'filler' levels (go get a few talismans to open that door, etc). The sixth level could be a training level, or an introductory level before the main meat of the plot kicks in proper, if we feel that we need one. I'll write it up post haste. You'll have it tomorrow afternoon, if work permits, or sometime Friday. I don't see my story breaking the boundaries of any limits that you might impose. It's very much in the tradition of Thief. But I will wait and see what the guidelines are.

I have created the plot. But I need to know how many levels the level designers can manage between them; that's a decision the team is going to have to make. Once you figure that out I can tell you exactly what happens level-to-level. The levels will be quite diverse so there should be something to every level designer's taste.

Yes, it was a crazy idea. A million to one chance. The problem with the idea that I should form the plot without listening to any criticism or suggestions from the team is that it is very difficult for me to do so without looking at what you've done so far and working out what the team does best, since you will be the ones who ultimately bring this universe to life. For instance, if one of the level designers is brilliant at creating gothic cathedrals, it would make sense for me to centre part of the plot around a cathedral, rather than an angular factory. So I can't ignore the opinions of the team completely. Anyway, I'm supposed to be working now.

Crazy Idea #1: Since you're planning on setting the game in a non-copyrighted parallel universe, I was wondering whether you've thought about giving Terry Pratchett a call and asking him if you could set the game in his Discworld, which is a very, very similar fantasy steampunk world. I've met Terry Pratchett before and he's a very nice man so I'm sure he'd hear you out. Apparently he plays Thief FM's as well, so he may have another special reason for granting you use of his little world. After all, there's a Thieves Guild in Ankh-Morpork, and an University of Wizards (mages), a Guild of Assassins, a Guild of Alchemists...

So you're using Thief characters and locations, but changing the names? Do the Chiselites worship the Constructor, or is it set in an entirely different universe?

Yes, I can. And I will. It is my business.

Criticism is good, and will make the story much better at the end of the day. A good story is the cornerstone of a game, especially a Thief game, so it's very important that we get it right. I'll look at what you have thought about so far, and probe you with further questions as to the direction you think the story ought to be going in. It seems to me that there are two avenues that we could take this story down. The first is to do a traditional Thief story, set in the City as Garrett and featuring the Hammerites and Pagans prominently. The advantage of this would be that it'd be very recognisable as a Thief game, and the modellers/scripters/map makers would be creating the kind of characters and locations the Thief Community will want to use once the toolset is released. The problem with this kind of story is that it isn't as original, and that going too close to the world of Thief would perhaps raise copyright issues. This is probably something you've already discussed in some detail, and since many of the models and some locations will already be done I suppose some kind of general consensus as to the direction and feel of the campaign has already been reached. I look forward to seeing what you've already done. I have some journalism work to do this afternoon and tomorrow (there's a war on, you know), so it'll be Friday before I'm able to begin crafting a proper story. But I'll think about it in the meantime.

I have sent my application to darkmod_apply@hotmail.com If you would like me to reproduce any pieces of writing found in that e-mail here, or create any more, please tell me.

Well, I make regular contributions to the Imperium blog. Look here. If I remember correctly there is a little bit of fictional Thief style writing on that blog as well. I also created this mini-blog from the point of view of a fictional character with a good grasp of English, found here, but that was ages ago. I could upload a few newspaper pieces I've written, but that kind of language is completely different from the kind of writing you'd want me to do. I'd give you a piece of a novel, but unless you can speak Welsh that would be of no use. I won't disappear, anyway. I love Thief.

I'm excited about this mod's potential, and would like to contribute to the writing, once work on the campaign itself begins. I'm a journalist and a novelist (the former in English, the latter in Welsh), and I also write and design a level for the Hammerite Imperium project. I'd offer my services as a level designer, but my PC runs Doom 3 at a choppy rate that would result in much pulling out of the hair if I were to attempt to create a level for it. And you have much more talented level designers already. I've been playing Thief since the first demo was released all those years ago (with rope arrows at Baffords!) so I have fairly good knowledge of that universe.