No news is not news

[Fidcal]

From time to time I can't help but wonder how news is processed and regurgitated to us as if it were really something new. Have a laugh at my 'slight' rewordings of a couple of recent readings that amused me:

 

After 18 years government-funded research, a team of scientists were astonished to discover that people tend to work harder on tasks that are extremely pleasurable. By contrast, a control group toiling at boring, repetitive, and even painful tasks in a very cold environment were significantly less productive. However, the team have requested further funding to confirm their findings.

 

A development group has suggested that it might be possible to deliver robusts payloads into orbit using a carefully designed cannon. A spokesman for the group, J. Verne, muted "yes, it is surprising that nobody thought of it before - after all, it isn't rocket science."

[Namdrol]

What do rocket scientists say rather than "it isn't rocket science"?

 

 

It's not special projects

 

 

Well, it tickled me.

[Baddcog]

Really, I'm not sure they have their facts straight. I prefer long, hard, boring, tedious jobs when I'm cold and numb and can barely feel my digits. Is something wrong with me?

[Fidcal]

Let's just say you're erm... unusual

[aidakeeley]

However, the team have requested further funding to confirm their findings.

 

A LOT of funding...

 

Funding to be spent on a lavish, pleasurable work environment in which to confirm their findings; first-hand! A 'lab' outfitted, no doubt, with soothing live chamber music, scrumptious catering and a break room that one might just mistake for a spa (massage, sauna, zen meditation guidance...)

Edited January 20, 2010 by aidakeeley

[jdude]

.....Funding to study something that I've already learned as a basic principal in my bba program?

[aidakeeley]

Funding to study something that is completely plain and never needed a fucking moments study.

 

It worries me, even, that this is something any school anywhere at any time in any setting would feel necessary to 'teach' as a basic principle in any BBA program.

[Ishtvan]

After 18 years government-funded research, a team of scientists were astonished to discover that people tend to work harder on tasks that are extremely pleasurable. By contrast, a control group toiling at boring, repetitive, and even painful tasks in a very cold environment were significantly less productive. However, the team have requested further funding to confirm their findings.

 

By extension, the team of scientists who worked on this project diligently for the last 18 years find it extremely pleasurable to force people to "toil at boring, repetitive and even painful tasks in a very cold environment," and are therefore sadists.

[jdude]

Funding to study something that is completely plain and never needed a fucking moments study.

 

It worries me, even, that this is something any school anywhere at any time in any setting would feel necessary to 'teach' as a basic principle in any BBA program.

 

You worry too much and never took any HR classes before

[Goldchocobo]

By extension, the team of scientists who worked on this project diligently for the last 18 years find it extremely pleasurable to force people to "toil at boring, repetitive and even painful tasks in a very cold environment," and are therefore sadists.

 

Sounds like retail.

[demagogue]

I do remember that the idea of shooting things into orbit by a cannon was Newton's original insight (that he wrote about anyway) that led to the original theory of gravity and "orbit" in the first place. So in that sense that's an interesting tweaked quote. It's not like they knew about orbit first then thought of the cannon. They knew about the cannon first and that gave them the idea of orbit, so being "surprised" that it hadn't been thought of it before sounds even funnier.

[Fidcal]

I didn't know that (or forgot if I did) but I'm not surprised. Maybe where Verne got the idea. Certainly it was a common idea over the latter part of the last century so common knowledge as a possibility amongst anyone even remotely interested in such things. Another common proposal was a rocket sled up a slope so maybe we can expect that to become a 'new idea' if and when it happens. Of course, actually designing something that might possibly work is new and a great achievement.

[Baddcog]

We need a trillion dollar study to see if the world really is flat. Some believe it, but nobody's thought to actually 'study' it before.

[Crispy]

Give the trillion dollars to me, I'll go sit near a dock with a camcorder and watch the ships disappear over the horizon. And then I'll write a paper about it and be in all the newspapers.

[Fidcal]

An astonished study team, led by scientists at the National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR), using computer modelling, have discovered that painting the roofs of buildings white makes them cooler. They have asked for further funding to find out what happens if they paint them black. They represented the white paint with boolean 1 which they subtracted from the heat of the virtual buildings. They are considering subtracting 0 to represent black for the next ten years to compare the results. I shall inform you of the results at that time.

[Mortem Desino]

Woah! Awesome!

 

Right now the windchill is -30 C, so maybe I should go paint all the buildings on my college campus black! Maybe I can even get college funding because of that research!

[Baddcog]

My guess is that painting the roofs black will make them even cooler.

 

Everyone knows black clothes are cooler than white clothes, black cars are cooler than white ones, I suppose roofs would fall under the same rule when it comes to fashion.

[Melan]

Baddcog is right, and should of course be silenced at once for endangering the livelihood of the researcher community!

[Ishtvan]

This one might actually have some merit. If it was done at NARAC, they're probably doing overall climate modeling, looking at whether it would lower the average temperature of the world to paint house roofs white, not just a single house.

 

Otherwise, you could just get your answer from looking at a reflectvity spectrum of paint vs. no paint. Maybe you'd also have to look at how the thermal conductivity of paint and primer layers below it affects heat bleeding off of the roof that comes into the house through other means, like light hitting the walls or air convection through doors/windows.

[Springheel]

they're probably doing overall climate modeling, looking at whether it would lower the average temperature of the world to paint house roofs white, not just a single house.

 

Yes, that's what they're doing.

[Ishtvan]

Okay, that depends on how many photons and what wavelength get re-absorbed into the atmosphere on the way back up after reflecting off the house, and how many make it all the way out to space without dumping their heat. Then it depends how heat dumped into various levels of the atmosphere behaves differently from heat dumped into a house at ground level. It's sort of deciding between double passing the absorption in the atmosphere vs. absorbing more at ground level. Probably not a trivial calculation, since there are a lot of light-absorbing pollutants floating around in the atmosphere.

 

Then they put the calculated heat generation into some supercomputers with a terrain model of the actual Earth to see what happens. Presumably they make some assumption like all cities would be made up of buildings with white or black roofs. This supercomputer climate/terrain modeling has led to some surprising results before. For example, they found that planting trees just anywhere won't necessarily help reduce CO2, they have to be planted in particular places in the world, and it could increase CO2 if trees are added in the wrong place.

 

So next time someone asks you to help plant trees to save the environment, punch them in the face and yell that they're wrong.

[Crispy]

Awesome. I've never liked gardening anyway.

[Fidcal]

A left-wing think tank has said that the working week should be cut to 21 hours to help boost the economy. They claim the reduction in hours would help to ease overwork and unemployment. The foundation admitted people would earn less but claimed the quality of life would increase. A government spokesman was not available for comment because he was on his day off.