I threw out all the women I had in my basement, to make room for my future clip brush experiments. I am surprised that not even the basic "nodraw" texture has been documented in the wiki. It's like a whole new frontier for me to explore, of exciting new advanced engine functionalities.
At the same time there's so many other things I want to do. I want to do everything at once, and I lack patience, and I think that that's why I burn out so often. I need to learn to relax. There is no hurry - no expectations, no pressure.
I did it! I finally did it! After 48 hours of frustration and confusion, I managed to finally sort out how to attach equipment to NPC:s properly, and write down coherent instructions on how to do it, both in my manual, and in this forum.
I can finally rest. I can finally eat breakfast.
Spent most of the day learning and writing about AI navigation. It's stuff I already know, but the magic about writing something down as clearly formulated as possible, is that you then see things that much more clearly. You also find what's unclear to you, and then you figure out exactly how things work. I was hoping to get through it all within just a day, but it looks like this will take tomorrow as well, at this rate. There's also plenty of other nonsense I have to get through as well. Everything's a chore.
I want to be a fish, but I'm not a fish. My mom wants to be a fish too, and so she's killing herself eating plankton and sh***ng blood, and tells me to stop nagging her about taking her medication. I spent several hours today, just lying in bed, having anxiety over just existing, and not being a fish. You fish, you don't know how lucky you are. You can eat all the plankton you want. I tried eating plankton again yesterday, and I just got sick. I hate being a shark.